The closer we get to Christmas the more i find I'm thinking about the troops fighting or who are on peace keeping exercises. I do hold a lot of respect for these boys and girls and wish them the best Christmas can offer. I have friends with in the military both here in the UK and in the USA, some are on operations while others are fortunate enough to be home. Yet there are thousands of troops who are spending Christmas alone in hospital or therapeutic homes due to injuries whether physical or mental the men and women who fight are hero's. What I don't condone is the act of war but that's a different story entirely. Although i wanted to serve in the military I was not allowed to due to poor chest (life long asthmatic) and poor mental health i often wonder if i had been born without the issues would i have signed up to follow in my grandfathers footsteps.
But life took me in a very different direction, which in some ways i am glad it did, i have learnt many lessons from life. From the drugs i used to take, to the alcohol and the fact i was homeless, the depression i have and live with through to the personality disorder. In a way I am still a fighter but this time it is to do with my health, and the hardships i face which can all be over come. But it will take time and I know i can do it. You see self belief is often something that is taken from you when i walked out of the property i was one hundred per cent drained. Since then i have made three statements and although most of the information is the same with time i am opening up more and telling the correct people the Intel they need. Although there's things i wont say on record, you never know when the cops would be likely to use something against you even as the victim. So some things get left out of the record, I reckon the detectives should have a little knowledge of me as i mentioned a few names of older detectives and stuff who have since retired but I had dealings with in my youth.
I find that i often think about life on the streets and make sandwiches and food for those who are on the street. Because having been there and knowing the pitfalls of someone giving the homeless money i know that most likely it will go on alcohol or drugs instead of food. so I rather take them and buy them a drink or hand the person something to eat and talk to them. I will say hello because don't forget saying hello a simple polite friendly gesture could save a life. So yes i think about these people i know many who call them leeches on society which infuriates me being on the streets is all to often a side effect of something else in my experience. I wont bog you down in the figures of how many homeless people there are in the UK this is not that sort of blog.
I've slept rough in graveyards and woodlands, not because i wanted to but because i was too scared to go home. To weak to shout for help and drained of every bit of energy i had, as if some sort of psychic vampire had been draining me. But in many ways that is what an abuser is someone who drains you until there is nothing left, giving statements used to be easy to me the last one was the hardest I've had to do . yet I'm thinking about everyone else who is going through the refuge systems around the world and even those who are yet to get out of the hell they are stuck in.
We are all fighters,
I refuse to call us survivors,
but we are warriors in our battles,
and winners in our own right!
Abuse is one reason we could find ourselves homeless, one of my mad attempts of getting away was to live on the streets. After all he wasn't going to find me, I remember bunking down at the church yard not meaning any disrespect to the dead but figured it was the safest place to sleep. My abuser told me he spent the night searching for me on the church yard. When he found me a few months later.
Mental ill health which is no ones fault but this can lead to several devastating factors. which could include benefit problems especially with this Universal Credit system which has replaced many benefits in the UK. I remember there was a lot of people on the streets who i knew which the cause of them being on the streets was mental ill health the inability to mix with others, the inability to spend their money wisely. I must admit with many mental health issues we can spend money in the blink of an eye. which often means we can't budget from one day to the next let alone one rent payment to the next but then again this does not happen with every one who is diagnosed as mentally ill.
individual issues including lack of qualifications, lack of social support, debts - especially mortgage or rent arrears, poor physical and mental health, relationship breakdown, and getting involved in crime at an early age.
family including family breakdown and disputes, sexual and physical abuse in childhood or adolescence, having parents with drug or alcohol problems, and previous experience of family homelessness
institutional issues including having been in care, the armed forces, or in prison.
individual issues including lack of qualifications, lack of social support, debts - especially mortgage or rent arrears, poor physical and mental health, relationship breakdown, and getting involved in crime at an early age
family background including family breakdown and disputes, sexual and physical abuse in childhood or adolescence, having parents with drug or alcohol problems, and previous experience of family homelessness
an institutional background including having been in care, the armed forces, or in prison.
I remember going to a day centre when i was homeless, just for something to eat and drink somewhere i could talk to others and feel like i belonged somewhere. I was happy to know that this place existed for people who had no where to turn.
Usually alcohol and drugs is something to mask the effects of the pain we go through, as you can see i listed the various different reasons for homelessness. But I will ask anyone to just say hello to someone on the street make them feel less invisible, less like an outcast from society. You don't need to hand them money but buy them a drink, something to eat or simply talk to them you will hear their story and hopefully realise that they are people just like you and me who need the helping hand in life. People who are all too often at their most vulnerable to attacks from cold heart idiots who think it is funny to beat them or to urinate on them just because they are in the street. Just remember that some of these people are ex service men people we should be looking up to and thanking while others are people who have ran from Domestic Abuse/Violence and Coercive control. Others are mentally ill these people need our help not ridicule so this Christmas's say a prayer or spare a thought for the most vulnerable in your own country.
One thing I'm happy about this Christmas's is I'm safe and have a roof over my head.
Many people don't have that.
Places to get help
UK
salvation army
Shelter
USA
The National Coalition for the Homeless The National Coalition for the Homeless
Depaul International
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